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Tuesday, October 25th 2005

23:26

Planes, no trains and a couple of automobiles

  • Mood:

Tomorrow, for the first time, I fly with one of those cheaper outfits. Hopefully everything will go OK – I really must try not to watch Airline…. Presumably in a bid to make the company seem more exotic (and expensive) they will serve unusual food – possibly goats’ cheese and lychee rolls, with a choice of mango- or parsnip-flavoured tea to follow. Actually, since the flight is only about an hour, it will probably be a plastic cup of Tetley’s® and a Rich Tea.

 

I have even re-charged my fobile moan – just in case. Just in case what?  Well, just in case I want a recording of a sweet Irish lass telling me that my ‘phone is not switched for service in Eire….

 

Had pizza tonight, delivered by a bloke who was either wearing a skin-coloured muscle suit or who had a second job as a bouncer for Mothercare. The pizza was OK, but by the time he found my house I would have eaten the box – I have no idea why he couldn’t follow a set of simple instructions. Even I can find my own house…….hmmmm.

 

Oh yes – I know why I am taking my ‘phone – so that I can call a friend for a lift back from the airport on Saturday. This is, of course, because I am too mean to pay for another taxi.

 

Hope the pilots don’t have the fish tomorrow. Really, that wretched film Airplane has a lot to answer for. I hope to God that there are no nuns on board, with their Hessian undergarments and their beards.

 

I really did see a woman trying to put lip-stick on, during a ‘plane flight once. Yes, of course she got it all over her face. By the time she had finished, she actually looked if she had been snogging Mick Jagger underwater.

 

Now there’s a frightening thought….
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